Subject: No'i La'i trong Tie^'ng Vie^.t ======================================= 1. Gai Co'n, Con Ga'i --------------------- Date: Fri, 4 Aug 1995 06:45:04 +0800 (WST) From: Binh Anson Subject: [vacets-dict] TGIF/JOKE: Gai Co'n .... Mo^.t trong ca'c dda(.c ddie^?m cu?a tie^'ng Vie^.t la` chu'ng ta thi'ch "no'i la'y". Thi' du.: dda^`u tie^n --> tie^`n dda^u; co+` ta^y --> ca^`y to+; ca^y co`n (mo^.c to^`n) --> con ca^`y v.v... Ga^`n dda^y, khi sang tha(m vie^'ng va` thuye^'t gia?ng ve^` a^m nha.c da^n to^.c VN, GS Tra^`n Va(n Khe^ - bie^'t to^i co' 2 ddu+'a con ga'i ma` kho^ng co' con trai - ke^? ta(.ng to^i mo^.t ca^u chuye^.n nhu+ sau: ... Va`o tho+`i Pha'p thuo^.c, co' mo^.t gia ddi`nh no. co' 5 ngu+o+`i con ga'i ma` kho^ng co' con trai\. Cho ne^n o^ng cho^`ng ra^'t ham co' the^m ddu+o+.c mo^.t ddu+'a con trai trong nha`\. Khi ba` vo+. co' thai la^`n thu+' 6 va` ga^`n sinh dde? thi` o^ng cho^`ng ddu+o+.c le^.nh pha?i ddi co^ng ta'c vu`ng xa\. Tru+o+'c khi le^n ddu+o+`ng, o^ng da(.n vo+.: - Chi? khi na`o ba` sinh con trai thi` go+?i ddie^.n ti'n cho to^i bie^'t, co`n sinh con ga'i nu+~a thi` tho^i, ddu+`ng go+?i ddie^.n ti'n la`m chi cho to^'n tie^`n .... Ma^'y ho^m sau o^ng nha^.n ddu+o+.c ddie^.n ti'n cu?a vo+.\. Vo^.i va`ng hi' hu+?ng mo+? ra xem ... o^ng tha^'t vo.ng, bu+.c bo^.i, ca`u nha`u ro^`i qua(ng to+` ddie^.n ti'n va`o so.t ra'c. Ngu+o+`i ba.n ke^' be^n la^'y la`m la., be`n ho?i: - Chuye^.n gi` the^' anh ? Tin vui hay buo^`n ? O^ng ta tra? lo+`i: - Tui dda~ da(.n ba? ro^`i ! He^? sinh con ga'i thi` ddu+`ng dda'nh ddie^.n ti'n ba'o tin la`m gi` nu+~a, cho to^'n tie^`n ! DDa~ va^.y, ma` ba? co`n ba`y dda(.t cho+i chu+~, no'i la'y nu+~a ... Tu+'c mi`nh thie^.t ! - Cho+i chu+~ nghi~a la` sao, ho+? anh ? - Thi` anh coi ne`, to+` ddie^.n ti'n dda'nh la` "gaicon", nghi~a la` "gai co'n", no'i la'y la.i la` "con ga'i" cho+' co`n gi` nu+~a !!! - Anh dde^? tui coi la.i xem sao .... Ngu+o+`i ba.n o^ng ta be`n la^'y bu+'c ddie^.n ti'n va` xem la.i cho ky?\. Xem xong, anh ta cu+o+`i khi`, va` ba?o ngu+o+`i cho^`ng: - Me`n dde't o+i, anh ddo^. ra`y gia` ro^`i ma` kho^ng chi.u ddeo kie^'ng dde^? nhi`n cho ro~ ... Bu+'c ddie^.n ti'n in la` "garcon" nghi~a la` "con trai", anh o+i ... (Pha'p, garcon = boy). - Tro+`i o+i, va^.y sao ? Thie^.t la` ma('t tui ddo^. ra`y lem nhem qua' ... Tui ca'm o+n anh, nhe ! Tui mu+`ng qua' !!! oOo Bi`nh Anson Perth, Western Australia August 1995. ============ 2. DDa^.p Chuo^ng ... --------------------- Date: 7 Aug 1995 14:33:44 PDT From: Hiep Tran [LANG:JOKE] DDa^.p chuo^ng Lu'c nho? to^i thu+o+`ng ddi ta('m bie^?n ta('m so^ng vo+'i ba.n be`, nhu+ng o+? bie^?n Tuy Hoa` vi` su+. di chuye^?n ba^'t thu+o+`ng cua? ca'c the^`m ca't ven bie^?n ta.o nhu+~ng co+n nu+o+'c xoa'y ba^'t ngo+` ne^n na(m na`o cu~ng co' mo^.t va`i ngu+o+`i bi. che^'t dduo^'i. Mo^~i la^`n nghe co' ngu+o+`i vu+`a che^'t dduo^'i, ca'c phu. huynh thu+o+`ng nga(n ca^'m kho^ng cho con em ddi ta('m bie^?n. Do ddo' bo.n chu'ng to^i kho^ng the^? co^ng khai ru? re^ be` ba.n ddu+o+.c ne^n pha?i du`ng ca'ch no'i la'y dde^? qua ma(.t cha me. , chu'ng to^i thu+o+`ng ddu+'ng tru+o+'c nha` ma^'y ddu+'a ba.n la lo+'n: - E^ Te`o ! la^'y xe ddi dda^.p chuo^ng ! The^' la` Te`o hie^?u y' va` la^'y xe cu`ng cha.y ddi ta('m bie^?n vo+'i ca? bo.n :-)) dda^.p chuo^ng -> dduo^ng cha^.p -> dda^m chuo^.t -> dda^m ty' -> ddi ta('m TGIF Hiep D Tran 3. DDa.i Phong -------------- Date: 08 Aug 1995 07:05:07 EDT From: "Ki Tran" Hi anh Bi`nh, anh Hie^.p va` mo.i ngu+o+`i, Cha('c co' le~ dda so^' dde^`u bie^'t ca'c chu+~ no'i la'i nhu+: "dda.i phong", Ma(.t chu+~ "ddie^`n", tha^n hi`nh "ddo^", Ha`m ra(ng "tu nguye^.t", ca(.p gio` "bi`nh tha?o", etc. My personnal experience with a couple of terms that I don't believe are well known: "thu+a tha`y" => thay thu+`a => the^' du+ => thu+' de^ co^ na`y "na^'u nu+o+'ng" gio?i: ddun thui => ddui thun => mu` co => mo` c... Ki Sorry it's not friday yet. 4. Bi`nh Mu+.c -------------- From: "Hieu Duong" Date: Fri, 25 Aug 1995 09:01:12 -0400 To^?ng cha`o ba` con co^ ba'c chu' thi'm xa ga^`n, Nha('c dde^'n chuye^.n no'i la'i thi` tui co`n nho+' va`i ba ca^u cho+i ddu`a vo+'i ba.n be` ho^`i tre? : Bu+.c mi`nh ca'i bi`nh mu+.c (ho^?ng pha?i bi`nh...u+o+'t) :=) Tha^`y gia'o ngo^`i tha'o gia^`y La.i co`n mo^.t ba`i no'i la'i nga(n nga('n nghe o^ng anh no'i rie^'t tha`nh thuo^.c na(`m lo`ng nhu+ sau : Ba(m na tri.ch ca'i mo^'ng, buo^?ng xe' xu+? la`m te bo`n ca xa'i lu.m ui cho va(n. (Ba na(m tro^`ng ca^y mi't, be? xuo^'ng xe? la`m tu+ ba` con xu'm la.i a(n cho vui) La^'y cho de^~ (take it easy :=?) nghe ba` con ! Hie^'u 5. Date: Sun, 27 Aug 1995 09:48:44 -0500 (CDT) From: "Nguyen T. Lam" Thu+a ca'c di.ch si~ : Nha^n di.p anh BA ddi va('ng , to^i xin go'p y' ve^` ba`i cu?a anh Hieu Duong ve^` dde^` ta`i "no'i la'i". To^i cha('c nhie^`u ngu+o+`i bie^'t hai ca^u sau : Tha^`y gia'o tha'o gia^`y va^'y dda^'t va^'t dda^'y Tha^`y tu thu` Ta^y ca.o dda^`u ca^`u dda.o Mo^.t ngu+o+`i ba.n cu?a to^i dda~ sa'ng ta'c mo^.t ba`i no'i la'i tu+o+ng tu+. ba`i tre^n : Ta` nha co' mi.t ca^y mo^'t Le^`n treo qua' mo^.t ha?i Xuo^ng dde'm ra? bo^ Ngu+o+'i co` mui xi'n Cho? cha ! Ca a(?n -do^n a(.c Bung -da.u lang ke^`u Thu+o+?ng ai cha Ta.m di.ch Nha` ta co' mo^.t ca^y mi't Tre`o le^n ha'i mo^.t qua? DDem xuo^'ng bo^? ra Co' ngu+o+`i xin mu'i Cha? cho ! A(n ca?, a(n ddo^.c DDau bu.ng ke^u la`ng Cha? ai thu+o+ng Tha^.t ra, nhu+~ng ba`i tre^n ddo.c le^n tu+o+ng ddo^'i nhanh mo+'i co' effet (ta'c du.ng ?). Nhu+ng to^i nghi~ chu+a ai la`m ddu+o+.c mo^.t ba`i no'i la'i tu+o+ng ddo^'i da`i ma` co' nghi~a\. Trong cuo^'n "Cho+i Chu+~", La~ng Nha^n Phu`ng Ta^'t DDa('c co' sao lu.c -du+o+.c mo^.t ba`i tho+ lie^n hoa`n, go^`m 16 ca^u, vo+'i dda(.c ddie^?m la` no'i la'i hai chu+~ cuo^'i cu`ng cu?a mo^~i ca^u se~ ddu+o+.c hai chu+~dda^`u cu?a ca^u sau\. Ba`i na`y mang tu+.a la` "Mong Cho^`ng" (Tro^ng mo`ng). To^i tha^'y ba`i na`y co' nhie^`u cho^~ gu+o+.ng e'p, va`i chu+~ no'i la'i kho^ng ddu+o+.c "chi?nh", ne^n xin mie^~n dda(ng le^n VACETS-DICT. He` na(m ngoa'i ve^` Sa`i Go`n, to^i the^'y tre^n ddu+o+`ng Ma.c Thi. Bu+o+?i co' mo^.t bar mang te^n TGIF. Ba` chu? cho to^i bie^'t la` o+? Singapore (Su+ Tu+? Tha`nh), acronym (cu.m tu+` vie^'t ta('t ?) TGIF cu~ng kha' pho^? bie^'n. Tuy nhie^n, va^~n co' mo^.t so^' kha'ch My~ cu?a bar na`y kho^ng hie^?u TGIF la` gi`. Tho^i, no'i ta`o lao ve^` "no'i la'i", e se~ ga^y the^m noise (ky' sinh a^m ?) tre^n VACETS-DICT. Khi na`o anh BA tro+? ve^`, hy vo.ng chu'ng ta se~ co' the^? tie^'p tu.c vie^.c di.ch thua^.t (thi.ch dua^.t = thi.t ruo^.t ?) mo^.t ca'ch ha(ng ha'i ho+n. Tha^n cha`o. N. T. La^m 6. Gia'ng Hu+o+ng -------------------- Date: 28 Aug 1995 09:32:32 +1000 From: "Ho Trieu" How about " Chi. Gia'ng Hu+o+ng, Giu+o+ng Ha'ng, bi. Giu+o+'ng Hang" "Kho^ng bie^'t dda^'u tranh, la.i va`o chuo^`ng dda'nh tra^u, kho^ng bie^'t tra'nh dda^u ne^n bi. tra^u dda'nh" -------------------------------------- 7. La`m Xu+o+ng cho Sa'o ------------------------ Date: Fri, 18 Aug 95 12:40:34 -0700 From: Frank Pham Ca'c ba.n Dictors tha^n me^'n Nha^n di.p Anh Ba.n Binh Anson tha^n me^'n cu?a chu'ng ta ke^? chuye^n vui ve^` Vie^.t Ngu+~, xin ke^? ca'c ba.n mo^.t chuye^.n vui kha'c cu~ng ve^` Vie^.t Ngu+~ tho+i ho.c sinh cu?a to^i. Ho^`i to^i ho.c lo+'p DDe^. Lu.c tru+o+`ng Trung ho.c Petrus Tru+o+ng Vi~nh Ky', chu'ng to^i ho.c Vie^.t Va(n vo+'i mo^.t co^ gia'o vu+`a tre? vu+`a dde.p. Co^ na`y la` mo^.t ddo^'i nghi.ch vo+'i Ba` Thie^n Lo^i ma` anh ba.n Bi`nh dde^` ca^.p trong imeo tru+o+'c ( trong "thua^.t ngu+~" cu?a chu'ng to^i, co^ gia'o na`o chu'ng to^i thi'ch thi` go.i ba(`ng co^, ma` co^ na`o du+~ da(`n pha't to+.n thi` chu'ng to^i go.i ba(`ng Ba`, du` co^ co' the^? 50-60 tuo^?i, va` Ba` co' the^? chi? ngoa`i 20 ). Anh ba.n to^i tra? ba`i "Vi.nh DDe`o Ngang" cu?a Ba` Huye^.n Thanh Quan. Ba`i tho+ DDu+o+`ng lua^.t ba('t dda^`u ba(`ng: Bu+o+'c to+'i dde`o Ngang bo'ng xe^' ta` Co? ca^y chen dda', la' chen hoa. ..... Nhu+ng anh ba.n to^i, go^'c Sai`gon chi'nh hie^.u con nai, la.i ddo.c la`: Bu+o+'c to+'i dde`o Ngang bo'ng te^' xa` Ca? lo+'p cu+o+`i ro^. le^n, va` co^ gia'o cu?a chu'ng to^i ba?o anh ddo.c la.i. Anh ba.n to^i la^'y la`m la., ta.i sao ca? lo+'p la.i cu+o+`i ro^. the^'. Anh be`n ddo.c la.i: Bu+o+'c to+'i dde`o Ngang bo'ng te^' xa` Ca? lo+'p lai. cu+o+`i, va` co^ gia'o ba?o anh ddo.c la.i la^`n thu+' ba, va` anh ta la.i ddo.c: Bu+o+'c to+'i dde`o Ngang bo'ng te^' xa` Co^ Dung cu?a chu'ng to^i cho ra(`ng anh muo^'n do+~n, be`n cho anh hai con de^ ro^ ( mo^.t khu?ng khie^'p cho anh ba.n hie^'u ho.c cu?a chu'ng to^i ). Ve^` cho^~ ngo^i`, anh ba.n na`y mo+'i kha'm pha' la` anh ddo.c chu+~ la'i ma` kho^ng hay. Va` tu+` ddo' chu'ng to^i go.i anh la` N. "te^' xa`", ddo^i khi chu'ng to^i "die^~n No^m" la` N. "tho+` ra('n". Lu'c ddo' to^i chi? cu+o+`i kho^ng suy nghi~, nhu+ng ve^` sau to^i mo+'i nha^.n ra ngu+o+`i Vie^.t mie^`n Nam thi'ch no'i la'i, va` no'i la'i tro+? tha`nh mo^.t tru+.c gia'c, mo^.t hie^.n tu+o+.ng it' tha^'y trong ngu+o+`i Vie^.t mie^`n Ba('c. Trong mo^.t buo^?i ho.p ma(.t, to^i ke^? mo^.t chuye^.n tie^'u la^m ( mo^.t chuye^.n kha' cu~, ne^'u ba.n na`o bie^'t thi` xin thu+' lo^~i ) "Mo^.t anh tha'i gia'm tu+. nhie^n kho^ng tu+'c ca?nh nhu+ng sinh ti`nh, "xin Vua ddi la^'y vo+. Nha` Vua cho anh mo^.t ca^u ddo^': La`m xu+o+ng cho sa'o "Ne^u' ddo^'i ddu+o+.c thi` Vua se~ ba(`ng lo`ng cho tha'i gia'm nha` "ta la^'y vo+. "Anh tha'i gia'm na`y nghi~ hoa`i, kho^ng bie^'t ca^u a^'y co' nghi~a gi`. "Sau nho+` mo^.t ho.c gia? giu'p cho, va` nha` ho.c gia? cho ca^u ddo^'i: La^'y to'c ma` may "Nha` vua nghe xong, ga^.t dda^`u cu+o+`i va` u+ng thua^.n cho tha'i gia'm nha` ta cu+o+'i vo+. Ta^'t ca? ca'c ba.n mie^`n Nam dde^`u cu+o+`i, chi? co' ca'c ba.n mie^`n Ba('c cu?a to^i thi` ni'n khe, vi` ho. kho^ng hie^?u tai. sao ca^u chuye^.n la.i dda'ng cu+o+`i. To^i nghi~ mo^.t pha^`n la` ca'c ba.n mie^`n Ba('c kho^ng co' tru+.c gia'c no'i la'i, mo^.t pha^` la` ca'c ba.n na`y ddo.c chi'nh xa'c "x" va` "s", pha^n bie^.t ro~ ra`ng "xu+o+ng" va` "su+o+ng" ne^n kho^ng tha^'y ra ca'i ha`i hu+o+'c cu?a ca^u chuye^.n tie^'u la^m. Nha^n ve^` Vie^.t-Nam, to^i tha^'y va^'n dde^` tu+` la'i dda~ tha`nh mo^.t trong nhu+~ng va^'n de^` ngu+~ ho.c ddu+o+.c nghie^n cu+'u ca^?n tha^.n. Co' ca? mo^.t quye^~n tu+. ddie^?n ve^` tu+` la'i. Tu+` la'i co' quy lua^.t cu?a no' ma` i't ai trong chu'ng ta dde^? y', coi nhu+ la` kie^?u no'i bi`nh da^n kho^ng dda'ng chu'ng ta quan ta^m. Ho'a ra la` anh ba.n to^i lo+'n le^n trong mo^.t mo^i tru+o+`ng ngo^n ngu+~ dda(.c bie^.t mie^`n Nam, va` tu+` la'i dda~ tha`nh mo^.t tha`nh to^' "tha^m ca(n co^' dde^" trong ta^m ho^`n, ne^n anh no'i tu+` la'i ma` chi'nh anh cu~ng kho^ng tha^'y ca'i gi` kha'c thu+o+`ng. Xa que^ hu+o+ng 20 na(m, gio+` nho+' la.i mo+'i tha^'y mi`nh qua' ba.c be~o vo+'i chi'nh tie^'ng no'i va` ngo^n ngu+~ cua? chi'nh mi`nh. Chu'ng ta thu+o+`ng ha~nh die^.n ve^ kha? na(ng Anh ngu+~, Pha'p ngu+~, Hoa ngu+~, nhu+ng it' ai ha~nh die^.n ve^` su+. hie^?u bie^'t ngo^n ngu+~ cu?a chi'nh chu'ng ta. Tha^n me^'n Pham Hai ********************