Our Real
Home
A Talk to an Aging Lay
Disciple
Approaching Death
by
Ajahn Chah
Now determine in your mind to listen with
respect to the Dhamma. During the time that I am speaking, be as attentive
to my words as if it was the Lord Buddha himself sitting in front of you.
Close your eyes and make yourself comfortable, compose your mind and make
it one-pointed. Humbly allow the Triple Gem of wisdom, truth and purity
to abide in your heart as a way of showing respect to the Fully Enlightened
One.
Today I have brought nothing material of
any substance to offer you, only Dhamma, the teachings of the Lord Buddha.
Listen well. You should understand that even the Buddha himself, with his
great store of accumulated virtue, could not avoid physical death. When
he reached old age he relinquished his body and let go of its heavy burden.
Now you too must learn to be satisfied with the many years you've already
depended on your body. You should feel that it's enough.
You can compare it to household utensils
you've had for a long time -- your cups, saucers, plates and so on. When
you first had them they were clean and shining, but now after using them
for so long, they're starting to wear out. Some are already broken, some
have disappeared and those that are left are deteriorating; they have no
stable form, and it's their nature to be like that. Your body is the same
way -- it's been continually changing right from the day you were born,
through childhood and youth, until now it's reached old age. You must accept
that. The Buddha said that conditions (sankharas), whether they are internal
conditions, bodily conditions, or external conditions, are not-self, their
nature is to change. Contemplate this truth until you see it clearly.
This very lump of flesh that lies here
in decline is saccadhamma, the truth. The truth of this body is saccadhamma,
and it is the unchanging teaching of the Buddha. The Buddha taught us to
look at the body, to contemplate it and come to terms with its nature.
We must be able to be at peace with the body, whatever state it is in.
The Buddha taught that we should ensure that it's only the body that is
locked up in jail and not let the mind be imprisoned along with it. Now
as your body begins to run down and deteriorate with age, don't resist
that, but don't let your mind deteriorate with it. Keep the mind separate.
Give energy to the mind by realizing the truth of the way things are. The
Lord Buddha taught that this is the nature of the body, it can't be any
other way: having been born it gets old and sick and then it dies. This
is a great truth you are presently encountering. Look at the body with
wisdom and realize it.
Even if your house is flooded or burnt
to the ground, whatever the danger that threatens it, let it concern only
the house. If there's a flood, don't let it flood your mind. If there's
a fire, don't let it burn your heart. Let it be merely the house, that
which is external to you, that is flooded and burnt. Allow the mind to
let go of its attachments. The time is ripe.
You've been alive a long time. Your eyes
have seen any number of forms and colors, your ears have heard so many
sounds, you've had any number of experiences. And that's all they were
-- just experiences. You've eaten delicious foods, and all the good tastes
were just good tastes, nothing more. The unpleasant tastes were just unpleasant
tastes, that's all. If the eye sees a beautiful form, that's all it is,
just a beautiful form. An ugly form is just an ugly form. The ear hears
an entrancing, melodious sound and it's nothing more than that. A grating,
disharmonious sound is simply so.
The Buddha said that rich or poor, young
or old, human or animal, no being in this world can maintain itself in
any one state for long, everything experiences change and estrangement.
This is a fact of life that we can do nothing to remedy. But the Buddha
said that what we can do is to contemplate the body and mind so as to see
their impersonality, see that neither of them is "me" or "mine." They have
a merely provisional reality. It's like this house: it's only nominally
yours, you couldn't take it with you anywhere. It's the same with your
wealth, your possessions and your family -- they're all yours only in name,
they don't really belong to you, they belong to nature. Now this truth
doesn't apply to you alone; everyone is in the same position, even the
Lord Buddha and his enlightened disciples. They differed from us in only
one respect and that was in their acceptance of the way things are; they
saw that it could be no other way.
So the Buddha taught us to scan and examine
this body, from the soles of the feet up to the crown of the head and then
back down to the feet again. Just take a look at the body. What sort of
things do you see? Is there anything intrinsically clean there? Can you
find any abiding essence? This whole body is steadily degenerating, and
the Buddha taught us to see that it doesn't belong to us. It's natural
for the body to be this way, because all conditioned phenomena are subject
to change. How else would you have it be? Actually, there's nothing wrong
with the way the body is. It's not the body that causes you suffering,
it's your wrong thinking. When you see the right wrongly, there's bound
to be confusion.
It's like the water of a river. It naturally
flows down the gradient, it never flows against it; that's its nature.
If a person were to go and stand on a river bank and, seeing the water
flowing swiftly down its course, foolishly want it to flow back up the
gradient, he would suffer. Whatever he was doing his wrong thinking would
allow him no peace of mind. He would be unhappy because of his wrong view,
thinking against the stream. If he had right view he would see that the
water must inevitably flow down the gradient, and until he realized and
accepted that fact, the person would be agitated and upset.
The river that must flow down the gradient
is like your body. Having been young your body has become old and now it's
meandering towards its death. Don't go wishing it was otherwise, it's not
something you have the power to remedy. The Buddha told us to see the way
things are and then let go of our clinging to them. Take this feeling of
letting go as your refuge.
Keep meditating, even if you feel tired
and exhausted. Let your mind dwell with the breath. Take a few deep breaths,
and then establish the mind on the breath using the mantra "Buddho." Make
this practice habitual. The more exhausted you feel, the more subtle and
focused your concentration must be, so that you can cope with the painful
sensations that arise. When you start to feel fatigued then bring all your
thinking to a halt, let the mind gather itself together and then turn to
knowing the breath. Just keep up the inner recitation: "Bud-dho, Bud-dho."
Let go of all externals. Don't go grasping
at thoughts of your children and relatives, don't grasp at anything whatsoever.
Let go. Let the mind unite in a single point and let that composed mind
dwell with the breath. Let the breath be its sole object of knowledge.
Concentrate until the mind becomes increasingly subtle, until feelings
are insignificant and there is great inner clarity and wakefulness. Then
when painful sensations arise they will gradually cease of their own accord.
Finally, you'll look on the breath as if it was a relative come to visit
you.
When a relative leaves, we follow him out
and see him off. We watch until he's walked or driven out of sight and
then we go back indoors. We watch the breath in the same way. If the breath
is coarse, we know that it's coarse, if it's subtle we know that it's subtle.
As it becomes increasingly fine we keep following it, while simultaneously
awakening the mind. Eventually the breath disappears altogether and all
that remains is the feeling of wakefulness. This is called meeting the
Buddha. We have that clear wakefulness that is called "Buddho," the one
who knows, the one who is awake, the radiant one. It is meeting and dwelling
with the Buddha, with knowledge and clarity. For it was only the historical
flesh-and-blood Buddha that entered parinibbana; the true Buddha, the Buddha
that is clear radiant knowing, we can still experience and attain today,
and when we do so the heart is one.
So let go, put everything down, everything
except the knowing. Don't be fooled if visions or sounds arise in your
mind during meditation. Put them all down. Don't take hold of anything
at all. Just stay with this non-dual awareness. Don't worry about the past
or the future, just be still and you will reach the place where there's
no advancing, no retreating and no stopping, where there's nothing to grasp
at or cling to. Why? Because there's no self, no "me" or "mine." It's all
gone. The Buddha taught us to be emptied of everything in this way, not
to carry anything with us. To know, and having known, let go.
Realizing the Dhamma, the path to freedom
from the round of birth and death, is a job that we all have to do alone.
So keep trying to let go, and to understand the teachings. Really put effort
into your contemplation. Don't worry about your family. At the moment they
are as they are, in the future they will be like you. There's no one in
the world who can escape this fate. The Buddha told us to put down everything
that lacks a real abiding substance. If you put everything down you will
see the truth, if you don't you won't. That's the way it is and it's the
same for all, so don't worry and don't grasp at anything.
Even if you find yourself thinking, well
that's all right too, as long as you think wisely. Don't think foolishly.
If you think of your children, think of them with wisdom, not with foolishness.
Whatever the mind turns to, then think and know that thing with wisdom,
aware of its nature. If you know something with wisdom, then you let it
go and there's no suffering. The mind is bright, joyful and at peace, and
turning away from distractions it is undivided. Right now what you can
look to for help and support is your breath.
This is your own work, nobody else's. Leave
others to do their own work. You have your own duty and responsibility
and you don't have to take on those of your family. Don't take anything
else on, let it all go. That letting go will make your mind calm. Your
sole responsibility right now is to focus your mind and bring it to peace.
Leave everything else to others. Forms, sounds, odurs, tastes -- leave
them to others to attend to. Put everything behind you and do your own
work, fulfil your own responsibility. Whatever arises in your mind, be
it fear of pain, fear of death, anxiety about others or whatever, say to
it: "Don't disturb me. You're not my business any more." Just keep saying
this to yourself when you see those dhammas arise.
What does the word "dhamma" refer to? Everything
is a dhamma. There is nothing that is not a dhamma. And what about "world"?
The world is the very mental state that is agitating you at this moment.
"What will this person do? What will that person do? When I'm dead, who
will look after them? How will they manage?" This is all just "the world."
Even the mere arising of a thought of fearing death or pain is the world.
Throw the world away! The world is the
way it is. If you allow it to arise in the mind and dominate consciousness
then the mind becomes obscured and can't see itself. So, whatever appears
in the mind, just say: "This isn't my business. It's impermanent, unsatisfactory
and not-self."
Thinking you'd like to go on living for
a long time will make you suffer. But thinking you'd like to die right
away or die very quickly isn't right either; it's suffering, isn't it?
Conditions don't belong to us, they follow their own natural laws. You
can't do anything about the way the body is. You can prettify it a little,
make it look attractive and clean for a while, like the young girls who
paint their lips and let their nails grow long, but when old age arrives,
everyone's in the same boat. That's the way the body is, you can't make
it any other way. But what you can improve and beautify is the mind.
Anyone can build a house of wood and bricks,
but the Buddha taught that that sort of home is not our real home, it's
only nominally ours. It's a home in the world and it follows the ways of
the world. Our real home is inner peace. An external material home may
well be pretty, but it is not very peaceful. There's this worry and then
that, this anxiety and then that. So we say it's not our real home, it's
external to us, sooner or later we'll have to give it up. It's not a place
we can live in permanently because it doesn't truly belong to us, it's
part of the world. Our body is the same; we take it to be self, to be "me"
and "mine," but in fact it's not really so at all, it's another worldly
home. Your body has followed its natural course from birth until now it's
old and sick and you can't forbid it from doing that, that's the way it
is. Wanting it to be different would be as foolish as wanting a duck to
be like a chicken. When you see that that's impossible, that a duck has
to be a duck, that a chicken has to be a chicken and that bodies have to
get old and die, you will find strength and energy. However much you want
the body to go on and last for a long time, it won't do that.
The Buddha said:
Anicca vata sankhara
Uppada vayadhammino
Uppajjhitva nirujjhanti
Tesam vupasamo sukho.
Conditions are impermanent,
subject to rise and fall.
Having arisen they cease --
their stilling is bliss.
The word "sankhara" refers to this body and
mind. Sankharas are impermanent and unstable, having come into being they
disappear, having arisen they pass away, and yet everyone wants them to
be permanent. This is foolishness. Look at the breath. Having come in,
it goes out; that's its nature, that's how it has to be. The inhalation
and exhalation have to alternate, there must be change. Sankharas exist
through change, you can't prevent it. Just think: could you exhale without
inhaling? Would it feel good? Or could you just inhale? We want things
to be permanent, but they can't be, it's impossible. Once the breath has
come in, it must go out; when it's gone out, it comes in again, and that's
natural, isn't it? Having been born, we get old and sick and then we die,
and that's totally natural and normal. It's because sankharas have done
their job, because the in-breaths and out-breaths have alternated in this
way, that the human race is still here today.
As soon as we're born, we're dead. Our
birth and death are just one thing. It's like a tree: when there's a root
there must be twigs. When there are twigs there must be a root. You can't
have one without the other. It's a little funny to see how at a death people
are so grief-stricken and distracted, tearful and sad, and at a birth how
happy and delighted. It's delusion, nobody has ever looked at this clearly.
I think if you really want to cry, then it would be better to do so when
someone's born. For actually birth is death, death is birth, the root is
the twig, the twig is the root. If you've got to cry, cry at the root,
cry at the birth. Look closely: if there was no birth there would be no
death. Can you understand this?
Don't think a lot. Just think: "This is
the way things are." It's your work, your duty. Right now nobody can help
you, there's nothing that your family and your possessions can do for you.
All that can help you now is the correct awareness.
So don't waver. Let go. Throw it all away.
Even if you don't let go, everything is
starting to leave anyway. Can you see that, how all the different parts
of your body are trying to slip away? Take your hair: when you were young
it was thick and black, now it's falling out. It's leaving. Your eyes used
to be good and strong, and now they're weak and your sight is unclear.
When the organs have had enough they leave, this isn't their home. When
you were a child your teeth were healthy and firm; now they're wobbly,
perhaps you've got false ones. Your eyes, ears, nose, tongue -- everything
is trying to leave because this isn't their home. You can't make a permanent
home in a sankhara; you can stay for a short while and then you have to
go. It's like a tenant watching over his tiny little house with failing
eyes. His teeth aren't so good, his ears aren't so good, his body's not
so healthy, everything is leaving.
So you needn't worry about anything, because
this isn't your real home, it's just a temporary shelter. Having come into
this world, you should contemplate its nature. Everything there is, is
preparing to disappear. Look at your body. Is there anything there that's
still in its original form? Is your skin as it used to be? Is your hair?
It's not the same, is it? Where has everything gone? This is nature, the
way things are. When their time is up, conditions go their way. This world
is nothing to rely on -- it's an endless round of disturbance and trouble,
pleasures and pains. There's no peace.
When we have no real home we're like an
aimless traveler out on the road, going this way for a while and then that
way, stopping for a while and then setting off again. Until we return to
our real home we feel ill-at-ease whatever we're doing, just like the one
who's left his village to go on a journey. Only when he gets home again
can he really relax and be at ease.
Nowhere in the world is any real peace
to be found. The poor have no peace and neither do the rich. Adults have
no peace, children have no peace, the poorly educated have no peace and
neither do the highly-educated. There's no peace anywhere. That's the nature
of the world.
Those who have few possessions suffer and
so do those who have many. Children, adults, the aged, everyone suffers.
The suffering of being old, the suffering of being young, the suffering
of being wealthy, and the suffering of being poor -- it's all nothing but
suffering.
When you've contemplated things in this
way you'll see anicca, impermanence, and dukkha, unsatisfactoriness. Why
are things impermanent and unsatisfactory? It's because they're anatta,
not-self.
Both your body that is lying here sick
and painful, and the mind that is aware of its sickness and pain, are called
dhammas. That which is formless, the thoughts, feelings and perceptions,
is called nama-dhamma. That which is racked with aches and pains is called
rupa-dhamma. The material is dhamma and the immaterial is dhamma. So we
live with dhammas, in dhamma, we are dhamma. In truth there's no self anywhere
to be found, there are only dhammas continually arising and passing away,
as is their nature. Every single moment we're undergoing birth and death.
This is the way things are.
When we think of the Lord Buddha, how truly
he spoke, we feel how worthy he is of salutation, reverence and respect.
Whenever we see the truth of something, we see his teachings, even if we've
never actually practice Dhamma. But even if we have a knowledge of the
teachings, have studied and practice them, but still haven't seen their
truth, then we're still homeless.
So understand this point that all people,
all creatures, are about to leave. When beings have lived an appropriate
time they go their way. The rich, the poor, the young, the old, all beings
must experience this change.
When you realize that that's the way the
world is, you'll feel that it's a wearisome place. When you see that there's
nothing stable or substantial you can rely on, you'll feel wearied and
disenchanted. Being disenchanted doesn't mean you're averse though. The
mind is clear. It sees that there's nothing to be done to remedy this state
of affairs, it's just the way the world is. Knowing in this way, you can
let go of attachment, let go with a mind that is neither happy nor sad,
but at peace with sankharas through seeing with wisdom their changing nature.
Anicca vata sankhara -- all sankharas are
impermanent. To put it simply: impermanence is the Buddha. If we see an
impermanent phenomenon really clearly, we'll see that it's permanent, permanent
in the sense that its subjection to change is unchanging. This is the permanence
that living beings possess. There is continual transformation, from childhood
through youth to old age, and that very impermanence, that nature to change,
is permanent and fixed. If you look at it like that your heart will be
at ease. It's not just you that has to go through this, it's everyone.
When you consider things thus, you'll see
them as wearisome, and disenchantment will arise. Your delight in the world
of sense-pleasures will disappear. You'll see that if you have a lot of
things, you have to leave a lot behind; if you have few you will leave
behind few. Wealth is just wealth, long life is just long life, they're
nothing special.
What's important is that we should do as
the Lord Buddha taught and build our own home, building it by the method
that I've been explaining to you. Build your home. Let go. Let go until
the mind reaches the peace that is free from advancing, free from retreating
and free from stopping still. Pleasure is not our home, pain is not our
home. Pleasure and pain both decline and pass away.
The Great Teacher saw that all sankharas
are impermanent, and so he taught us to let go of our attachment to them.
When we reach the end of our life, we'll have no choice anyway, we won't
be able to take anything with us. So wouldn't it be better to put things
down before that? They're just a heavy burden to carry around; why not
throw off that load now? Why bother to drag them around? Let go, relax,
and let your family look after you.
Those who nurse the sick grow in goodness
and virtue. One who is sick and giving others that opportunity shouldn't
make things difficult for them. If there's a pain or some problem or other,
let them know, and keep the mind in a wholesome state. One who is nursing
parents should fill his or her mind with warmth and kindness, not get caught
in aversion. This is the one time when you can repay the debt you owe them.
From your birth through your childhood, as you've grown up, you've been
dependent on your parents. That we are here today is because our mothers
and fathers have helped us in so many ways. We owe them an incredible debt
of gratitude.
So today, all of you children and relatives
gathered here together, see how your parents become your children. Before,
you were their children; now they become yours. They become older and older
until they become children again. Their memories go, their eyes don't see
so well and their ears don't hear, sometimes they garble their words. Don't
let it upset you. All of you nursing the sick must know how to let go.
Don't hold on to things, just let go and let them have their own way. When
a young child is disobedient, sometimes the parents let it have its own
way just to keep the peace, to make it happy. Now your parents are like
that child. Their memories and perceptions are confused. Sometimes they
muddle up your names, or you ask them to give you a cup and they bring
a plate. It's normal, don't be upset by it.
Let the patient remember the kindness of
those who nurse and patiently endure the painful feelings. Exert yourself
mentally, don't let the mind become scattered and agitated, and don't make
things difficult for those looking after you. Let those who nurse the sick
fill their minds with virtue and kindness. Don't be averse to the unattractive
side of the job, to cleaning up mucus and phlegm, or urine and excrement.
Try your best. Everyone in the family give a hand.
These are the only parents you've got.
They gave you life, they have been your teachers, your nurses and your
doctors -- they've been everything to you. That they have brought you up,
taught you, shared their wealth with you and made you their heirs is the
great beneficence of parents. Consequently the Buddha taught the virtues
of katannu and katavedi, of knowing our debt of gratitude and trying to
repay it. These two virtues are complementary. If our parents are in need,
if they're unwell or in difficulty, then we do our best to help them. This
is katannu-katavedi, it is a virtue that sustains the world. It prevents
families from breaking up, it makes them stable and harmonious.
Today I have brought you the Dhamma as
a gift in this time of illness. I have no material things to give you;
there seem to be plenty of those in the house already, and so I give you
Dhamma, something which has a lasting worth, something which you'll never
be able to exhaust. Having received it from me you can pass it on to as
many others as you like and it will never be depleted. That is the nature
of Truth. I am happy to have been able to give you this gift of Dhamma,
and I hope it will give you strength to deal with your pain.
Ajahn Chah
Ajahn Chah was born into a large
and comfortable family in a rural village in Northeast Thailand. He ordained
as a novice in early youth and on reaching the age of twenty took higher
ordination as a monk. As a young monk he studied some basic Dhamma, Discipline
and scriptures. Later he practice meditation under the guidance of several
of the local meditation masters in the ascetic forest tradition. He wandered
for a number of years in the style of an ascetic monk, sleeping in forests,
caves and cremation grounds, and spent a short but enlightening period
with Ajahn Mun, one of the most famous and respected Thai meditation masters
of this century.
After many years of travel and practice,
he was invited to settle in a thick forest grove near the village of his
birth. This grove was uninhabited, known as a place of cobras, tigers and
ghosts, thus being, as he said, the perfect location for a forest monk.
Around Ajahn Chah a large monastery formed as more and more monks, nuns
and lay people came to hear his teachings and stay on to practice with
him. Now there are more than forty mountain and forest branch temples throughout
Thailand and in England and Australia as well.
On entering Wat Pah Pong one is likely
to encounter monks drawing water from a well, and a sign on the path that
says: "You there, be quiet! We're trying to meditate." Although there is
a group meditation twice a day, the heart of the meditation is the way
of life. Monks do manual work, dye and sew their own robes, make most of
their own requisites and keep the monastery buildings and grounds in immaculate
shape. Monks here live extremely simply following the ascetic precepts
of eating once a day from the alms bowl and limiting their possessions
and robes. Scattered throughout the forest are individual huts where monks
live and meditate in solitude, and where they practice walking meditation
on cleared paths under the trees.
Discipline is extremely strict enabling
one to lead a simple and pure life in a harmoniously regulated community
where virtue, meditation and understanding may be skillfully and continuously
cultivated.
Ajahn Chah's simple yet profound style
of teaching has a special appeal to Westerners, and many have come to study
and practice with him, quite a few for many years. In 1975 Wat Pah Nanachat
was established near Wat Pah Pong as a special training monastery for the
growing number of Westerners interested in undertaking monastic training.
Since then Ajahn Chah's large following of senior Western disciples has
begun the work of spreading the Dhamma in the West. Ajahn Chah has himself
traveled twice to Europe and North America, and he has established a thriving
branch monastery in Sussex, England.
Wisdom is a way of living and being, and
Ajahn Chah has endeavored to preserve the simple lifestyle of the monks
in order that people may study and practice Dhamma in the present day.
Ajahn Chah's wonderfully simple style of
teaching can be deceptive. It is often only after one has heard something
from him many times that suddenly one's mind is ripe and somehow the teaching
takes on a much deeper meaning. His skillful means in tailoring his explanations
of Dhamma to time and place, and to the understanding and sensitivity of
his audience, is marvellous to see. Sometimes on paper, though, it can
make him seem inconsistent or even self-contradictory! At such times the
reader should remember that these words are a record of living experience.
Similarly, if the teaching may seem to vary at times from tradition, it
should be borne in mind that the venerable Ajahn speaks always from the
heart, from the depths of his own meditative experience.
Source: Access-to-Insight, http://world.std.com/~metta/lib/bps/leaves/bl111.html
Buddhist Publication Society
Bodhi Leaves BL 111
Copyright © 1987 Buddhist Publication
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